The Hero's Personal Assistant
A Novel of Capes and Calendars

About this book:

Arthur Pringle doesn't wear a cape. He wears a sensible wool blend, carries a lint roller for soot, and manages the only thing more volatile than a superhero's ego: his calendar. As personal assistant to Titan Flare—Apex City's golden boy of collateral damage—Arthur spends his mornings negotiating with insurance adjusters over vaporized piers, his afternoons recalling protein powder that could stop a civilian's heart, and his evenings ensuring the city's most powerful man doesn't accidentally bankrupt the municipal budget before happy hour. Someone has to file the paperwork when a demigod ground-pounds a petrochemical depot. Someone has to remind him that "fungus, not the Hammer-Toss" is the only legally defensible deposition strategy. That someone is Arthur, and he has exactly twenty-two minutes to get the boss showered, suited, and seated before the next crisis hits the fan.

In a world of orbital lasers, mole-men uprisings, and villains who monologue about interest rates while piloting eight-ton mecha-bulls, *The Hero's Personal Assistant* delivers a razor-sharp workplace comedy where the real superpower is knowing which forms to file in triplicate. Equal parts *The Office* and *The Boys*, this debut novel follows the only man in Apex who treats a five-alarm fire as a scheduling conflict and a hostage situation as a calendar conflict. With a deadpan protagonist who defeats doomsday devices via liquid nitrogen foam and municipal code citations, every chapter escalates the delightful absurdity of keeping a superhero employed, insured, and on time for his ribbon-cuttings.

By the time Arthur faces down a performance review for the sidekick, a villain heist targeting his sticky notes, and a 5:00 PM deadline to save the world, you'll understand why the most dangerous person in the city isn't the guy shooting lasers from his eyes—it's the one holding the clipboard, checking his watch, and quietly preventing the apocalypse one reimbursement form at a time. Sharp, surprisingly sweet, and relentlessly entertaining, this is the superhero novel for anyone who's ever had a boss who thinks "collateral damage" is a line item, not a tragedy.